


Psycho

by TheGoddessAriadne



Series: Born Bad [1]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-20
Updated: 2014-07-23
Packaged: 2018-01-25 20:33:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1661537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGoddessAriadne/pseuds/TheGoddessAriadne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone knows Grant Ward is a psycho. </p>
<p>Right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Session 87

FOR THE EYES OF DIRECTOR COULSON ONLY  
TRANSCRIPT  
INTERROGATION OF PRISONER 0849329  
SESSION 87  
THE CABIN IN THE WOODS  
LOCATION: CLASSIFIED

INTERVIEWER: Good morning. I’m Doctor Seraphina Sen. I am conducting research into sociopathy, criminality and pathological behaviour and I have been granted access to interview you, if you are comfortable answering some questions. So, I'll need to ask a few preliminary questions, just to document the basics. What is your full name, please. [PAUSE] Mr Ward? Can you understand me? Oh for the love of...can I get a translator in here?

PRISONER 0849329: I can understand you.

I: Oh. Ok then. Why didn't you say so?

P 0849329: I don't speak.

I: You just did. Twice.

P 0849329: I'm being taciturn, what is this, your first interrogation? What part of SHIELD are you from?

I: SHIELD? Oh, right, no, not a part of that. Not really my thing. Not your thing either, from what I understand.

P 0849329: Yeah, that was smooth.

I: Sorry, it's my first interrogation. [SHORT LAUGH] [PAUSE] Go on, that was funny. No? Ok. And, just FYI, it’s not my first interview. I’ve interviewed serial killers, spree killers, mass murderers–

P 0849329: I figured.

I: Really? How?

P 0849329: You usually have three piercings, they’ve all been taken out. Your fingers keep fluttering to your neckline, like you’re used to having a talisman of some kind, so you took off a necklace. Your clothes are formfitting without being revealing and you’re wearing joggers in case you need to make a quick getaway. And your bra has no underwire.

I: Very perceptive, up to the bra bit. That was creepy. Don’t think I’m not writing that down.

P 0849329: Do you talk to all your patients like that?

I: Patients? Hell no, I'm not a clinician. They didn't think it was a good idea for me to talk to...well, people. No offence.

P 0849329: So this the good cop part of the routine?

I: Excuse me?

P 0849329: They rough me up and stick me with T16 for a few months and now I'm supposed to roll over because you've got this whole bumbling act going? You going to seduce answers out of me with tea and sympathy?

I: If I was here to seduce you, I would have worn different shoes. [PAUSE] I’m here to see if you’re suitable for my study. I’ve been allowed to do that because you've exasperated all the in-house clinicians.

P 0849329: Hardly all. I've seen five or six, tops.

I: Yes, and as I understand it, most of the SHIELD clinicians were based at The Fridge. So none of them are in a position to see you because they're either recovering or...not.

P 0849329: I was following orders.

I: Ok. Tell me about John Garrett.

P 0849329: That's classified.

I: Huh. Interesting. Let’s go classic then. Tell me about your childhood.

P 0849329: You already know about my childhood. It's in my file.

I: Lots of stuff in your file. Dates, numbers, and this little drawing...is that a poop with needles sticking in it? [PAUSE] Your whole existence is contained within that file?

P 0849329: Yes.

I: Nothing to add? [PAUSE] The arson is interesting. [PAUSE] Set fire to anything else lately?

P 0849329: Is that what they told you to ask me about?

I: They?

P 0849329: Yeah, who's out there?

I: Who do you think is out there?

P 0849329: Coulson? Shaw? May? The rest of them, peering in, waiting for me to crack?

I: What makes you think they're out there? What makes you think you're that important?

P 0849329: I know they’re out there.

I: Maybe you just want to believe they’re out there.

P 0849329: You’re a bad liar, Doctor Seraphina Sen.

I: I know. That’s why I never lie. [PAUSE] How many people have you killed?

P 0849329: That’s classified.

[LONG PAUSE]

I: You're not stupid, Mr Ward. I have your file, I'm in this bizarre facility, I'm missing my book club to meet with you - and I had actually read Anna Karenina this time and not just used it as a doorstop for my office. You know I have clearance. But you're hiding behind it anyway. I wonder why. [PAUSE] How many people did you kill after you killed Victoria Hand?

P 0849329: I was following orders.

I: You say that a lot.

P 0849329: It's the truth.

I: I'm sure it is. You're an order-follower. A follower of orders.

P 0849329: That's right.

I: Ever not followed an order?

P 0849329: No.

I: Interesting. Ever wanted to not follow an order? [PAUSE] Have you ever acted without orders?

P 0849329: What does that mean?

I: What do you do when you have no orders?

P 0849329: I wait for them.

I: What if you really want to do something or think it's really important something's done?

P 0849329: I bring it to the attention of my superiors and await my orders.

I: Huh. Never disobey, never look to your own thoughts and desires first.

P 0849329: No.

I: Never been tempted? To just take what you want? [PAUSE] As you said, it’s all in your file. Hardly 'Shall I compare thee to a summer's day'. [PAUSE] Have you used rape as a tool before?

P 0849329: I have never raped anyone.

I: Well, that's good. Well done you. Threatened to before?

P 0849329: I did not threaten to rape her!

I: 'Maybe I'll just take what I want and wake up something inside of you.'

P 0849329: It's not how it sounds.

I: Ok.

P 0849329: I didn't mean that I'd...that's not what I meant.

I: Ok.

P 0849329: I know what you're thinking.

I: I doubt that.

P 0849329: I'm not that kind of man. I wanted her but to keep her safe and I wanted to make her understand that I...I was only following orders. I am what I am and I have been for too long to let it go now.

I: What are you, Mr Ward?

P 0849329: I'm a spy. I'm not a good man but I get the job done.

I: Ok.

P 0849329: Stop saying ok.

I: Alright. [PAUSE] Then we come to now. You’ve killed more people than you care to tell but you know the number. The family you were born into betrayed you but you betrayed the family that chose you. You believe the ends justify the means but those means still keep you up at night. You believe in the greater good but you don’t believe you’re capable of being a good man. And you made your peace with all these things by saying you were following orders. [PAUSE] Your SO is dead. There are no orders coming. What now?

[LONG PAUSE]

GUARD: Time's up, Doctor.

I: Oh. Well, that went quickly. Thank you for your time. Unfortunately, I don't think your case is suitable for my study.

P 0849329: Why not?

I: Well, privacy issues, security concerns. I don't think SHIELD quite understands that I'm in a publish or perish situation...well, I suppose perish is a poor choice of words, all things considered...but coming back to the point, mostly it's because you're not a sociopath.

P 0849329: What? You're crazy.

I: I hear that a lot. So do you, I imagine. And don’t get me wrong, you have issues – many, many issues – but you're neither a psychopath nor a sociopath.

P 0849329: Then what am I?

I: That's a question you'll have to answer yourself, Mr Ward.

P 0849329: Agent Ward.

I: Really? [PAUSE] Agent of what?

 

TRANSCRIPT END.


	2. Session 88

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone knows Grant Ward is a psycho. 
> 
> Right?

FOR THE EYES OF DIRECTOR COULSON ONLY  
TRANSCRIPT  
INTERROGATION OF PRISONER 0849329  
SESSION 88  
THE CABIN IN THE WOODS  
LOCATION: CLASSIFIED

INTERVIEWER: This is Doctor Jillian Baldwin, Agent 0-9-2-4-7-5-1 of SHIELD, recording an interrogation of Prisoner 0-8-4-9-3-2-9, former agent Grant Douglas Ward. Prisoner Ward, will you please state your full name for the record. [PAUSE] Ward? Don’t be childish. Please state your name for the record. 

[LONG PAUSE] 

[INAUDIBLE MUTTERING]

 

TRANSCRIPT END.


	3. Session 89

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone knows Grant Ward is a psycho.
> 
> Right?

FOR THE EYES OF DIRECTOR COULSON ONLY  
TRANSCRIPT  
INTERROGATION OF PRISONER 0849329  
SESSION 89  
THE CABIN IN THE WOODS  
LOCATION: CLASSIFIED

INTERVIEWER: Hello Grant, I’m Nathaniel. I’d like to have a chat, if that’s ok.

[LONG PAUSE]

TRANSCRIPT END.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seraphina will return very soon (sorry for the short chapters!)
> 
> TGA


	4. Session 90

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone knows Grant Ward is a psycho.
> 
> Right?

FOR THE EYES OF DIRECTOR COULSON ONLY  
TRANSCRIPT  
INTERROGATION OF PRISONER 0849329  
SESSION 90  
THE CABIN IN THE WOODS  
LOCATION: CLASSIFIED

INTERVIEWER: Hello again, Mr Ward. I’m told you’ve been having some communication problems. [PAUSE] Has someone actually examined him to make sure his larynx hasn’t re-fractured or something?

P 0849329: The larynx doesn’t re-fracture on its own.

I: So I see. You’re a larynx specialist now?

P 0849329: I’m trained in how to crush them.

[PAUSE]

I: You’re trying to intimidate me.

P 0849329: I’m just pointing out a fact, Doctor Sen. You like facts, don’t you?

I: Some more than others.

P 0849329: But you’re a researcher. You’ve got all the facts, all the answers.

I: If I had all the answers, Mr Ward, I wouldn’t be a researcher.

P 0849329: Doesn’t stop you talking like you know everything.

I: If you have a point, Mr Ward, you’ll have to get there quicker. I’m only here for five minutes.

P 0849329: They sold you some tale about my tough childhood and how I’m really a good person inside. They lied. I’m a killer. Given the chance, I’ll kill again and your bleating about how I’m not a psychopath won’t save anyone. Understand this simple fact, Doctor - there is nothing to redeem here.

[PAUSE]

I: You had them haul me all the way back here because I understand you better than you’d like? I’m disappointed, Mr Ward. You didn’t strike me as the kind of man who would throw a temper tantrum. I’m going to go home now.

P 0849329: Sure. Run back to your cozy little office in Vienna. Is your family still in Mumbai? Are they disappointed you didn’t get a position at Harvard after you graduated?

[PAUSE]

I: You can decode my accent. Congratulations. You must be a hit at dinner parties.

P 0849329: You have your party tricks, I have mine. 

I: I use my so-called tricks to seek the truth. What do you use yours for, Mr Ward?

P 0849329: Exposing hypocrites. You hate people as much as I do, and if they don’t hate you like they hate me, they will. When was the last time your parents called you? It’s been a while, I bet. Are they disappointed you’re still not married?

I: Not particularly.

P 0849329: Already got grandkids from their favorite child? But then we get to the interesting part: Andy. 

I: Andy?

P 0849329: That tan line on your left wrist where a bracelet usually covers that tattoo you got about ten years ago: ANDY. You cover it, so you don’t want to see it, but you haven’t had it removed, so you can’t bear to let it go. Did you think you’d be together forever? Did he break your heart? Did you see an overbearing know-it-all therapist about it? [PAUSE] Your party tricks don’t impress me, Doctor Sen. Go home to your cat. I’ll bet you gave him some pretentious name like Charon or Bastet, so you can keep up the pretense that you’re superior to everyone when you’re actually just a scared shadow of a person, like the rest of us.

[PAUSE]

I: Nicodemus.

P 0849329: What?

I: My cat’s name is Nicodemus. [PAUSE] That was quite the piece of character assassination, Mr Ward. Impressive. No ring on the finger and maybe a stray bit of cat hair I understand but how did you surmise the rest? [PAUSE] What’s wrong, Mr Ward? Did you expect me to cry and run away? [PAUSE] You’re angry. You should be. For your entire life, you’ve been told you’re some kind of deviant, that no one in the world is like you, or could ever understand you, that you are unworthy of your place here. It must be a shock to discover that you've been lied to, that you’re simply not that interesting. I'd be angry too.

[LONG PAUSE]

GUARD: Doctor?

I: Already? Time flies when you’re being verbally eviscerated. Good day, Mr Ward. [PAUSE] Eerily accurate. Except for one thing. [PAUSE] Just N.D.Y.

P 0849329: Initials, then.

I: Guess again. [PAUSE] I’ll come back tomorrow, if you’ll talk to me.

[PAUSE]

P 0849329: What does it stand for?

[PAUSE]

I: Not Dead Yet. As you say, Mr Ward, you’re not the only one with issues.

TRANSCRIPT END.


	5. Session 91

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone knows Grant Ward is a psycho.
> 
> Right?

FOR THE EYES OF DIRECTOR COULSON ONLY  
TRANSCRIPT  
INTERROGATION OF PRISONER 0849329  
SESSION 91  
THE CABIN IN THE WOODS  
LOCATION: CLASSIFIED

INTERVIEWER: Hello Mr Ward.

[PAUSE]

PRISONER 0849329: Doctor Sen.

I: You feel up to talking?

[PAUSE]

P 0849329: No.

I: No...or not yet?

[PAUSE]

P 0849329: Not yet.

I: Ok. [PAUSE] How long have you been in isolation?

P 0849329: Don't know.

I: We both know that's not true.

P 0849329: 174 days. Give or take. 

I: Ok. I'm going to sit here and read for a while.

[PAUSE]

P 0849329: Book club again?

I: No, just a palate cleanser after Tolstoy. Unhappy families are more interesting but they're also pretty depressing.

P 0849329: So you're reading Moby Dick for its happy ending?

I: Was that a joke, Mr Ward? [LAUGH] You're not a Melville fan?

P 0849329: I'm officially a high school dropout. Never read it. Saw the movie. Part of the movie.

I: No English Lit at the Academy?

P 0849329: Not compulsory.

I: I love a school where learning how to shoot eighteen different kinds of gun is core curriculum but Beowulf is optional.

P 0849329: Beowulf was never going to help me disarm a nuclear bomb. And eighteen guns would have been mediocre for a freshman.

I: You only had time for the practical stuff?

P 0849329: Yeah. Garrett said...

[PAUSE]

I: It's ok. We don't have to talk about it.

P 0849329: No. I...he said I should focus on practical skills, not that 'sissy stuff'.

I: You speak five languages.

P 0849329: Six. Languages have mission applications.

I: Did you ever study anything that didn't have mission applications?

P 0849329: No.

I: How terribly pragmatic. Ever want to?

[PAUSE]

P 0849329: Garrett was right. It made me a better operative.

I: But not a very rounded person. No encouragement to seek out new ideas, to develop critical thinking, to learn to know your own mind? Do you think that was the idea?

[PAUSE]

P 0849329: Maybe.

[PAUSE]

I: What do you do for fun?

P 0849329: I run, I box...

I: That's training.

P 0849329: Training is fun.

I: Training is training, Mr Ward. When was the last time you did something purely for the fun of it?

P 0849329: I like board games.

I: Really? I bet you're one if those unbearably competitive people at Monopoly.

P 0849329: Yeah.

I: When was the last time you played a board game?

[PAUSE]

P 0849329: On the Bus. With Skye.

I: Did it make you happy?

P 0849329: Yes.

I: Was it because you were playing a board game? [PAUSE] Ok, that was heavy-handed, even for me. Here. You're overdue a English Lit assignment.

GUARD: Ward, keep your hands up, do not touch that book.

I: It's a book, not a bazooka.

P 0849329: Doc, you better do...

G: Quiet, Ward. Doctor Sen, step away from the prisoner.

I: This is a little ridiculous.

G: The prisoner is a Level 12 threat, ma'am, and I have my orders.

I: From who, Orwell? [PAUSE] Fine. I'm sitting, the terrifying stack of bound pages is safely contained. Go away. [LONG PAUSE] "Call me Ishmael."

P 0849329: Really?

I: No, not really, you can call me Doctor Sen or Seraphina. Ah, that was definitely a smile.

P 0849329: You're really going to read out loud?

I: Why, have you got somewhere better to be? "Some years ago - never mind how long precisely - having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on shore, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world...."

[INTERVIEWER READS ALOUD THE FIRST TWO CHAPTERS OF MOBY DICK.]

G: Doctor? It's time. The AIC said he could have the book.

[PAUSE]

I: What's a Level 12 threat?

G: Highest classification, ma'am. The prisoner must remain in cuffs and may not have physical contact with interviewers. The use of deadly force is authorised.

I: Do you think that's merited?

P 0849329: Yes. You've seen my file. You know what I've done.

I: Is it who you are, Mr Ward?

P 0849329: Actions speak louder than words, Doctor Sen. Ask anyone outside that door. [PAUSE] Thanks for the book.

TRANSCRIPT END.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going dead against my usual obsessive planning and somewhat meandering along here, so if you have any thoughts, please drop me a line below.
> 
> For the next chapter, I might even be daring and write prose.


	6. Session 92

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone knows Grant Ward is a psycho.
> 
> Right?

FOR THE EYES OF DIRECTOR COULSON ONLY  
TRANSCRIPT  
INTERROGATION OF PRISONER 0849329  
SESSION 92  
THE CABIN IN THE WOODS  
LOCATION: CLASSIFIED

PRISONER 0849329: If this is part of Coulson's plan to ruin the rest of my life...kudos to him.

INTERVIEWER: From what I understand, Director Coulson has been tossing round the idea of stringing you up by your toe nails and forcing you to watch reruns of Patriot victories.

P 0849329: That seems fair.

I: Really? I thought the Patriot thing was a little over the top. You didn't enjoy the book?

P 0849329: I've had enough of overambitious single-minded obsession for this lifetime.

I: Well, you're learning.

P 0849329: I've been thinking.

I: Good. It's to be encouraged.

P 0849329: You think I was Garrett's puppet?

I: I never said that.

P 0849329: You thought it.

I: If you can read my thoughts, we've been having the wrong discussion. [PAUSE] Do you feel you were a puppet?

P 0849329: I was under orders. I was given a mission.

I: Is that the same?

[PAUSE]

P 0849329: I don't know. [PAUSE] Garrett saved me. He taught me everything I know. Loyalty was a small thing to ask in return.

I: Is that what you call it? Loyalty?

P 0849329: I was loyal to Garrett.

I: I'm sure you were. But if you think all he asked was loyalty, you need some perspective and a dictionary, Mr Ward.

P 0849329: So you do think I'm a puppet.

I: Does it matter what I think?

P 0849329: It does to them, or they wouldn't have sent you back.

I: Who?

P 0849329: Coulson. The others.

I: Do you care what they think?

[PAUSE]

P 0849329: I shouldn't.

I: Ok.

P 0849329: I wish I didn't.

I: Ok.

P 0849329: You're saying ok again.

I: Yeah, I do that. [LONG PAUSE] Do you know why you're not a psychopath?

P 0849329: Because you say I'm not and you're the psycho expert.

I: That too. It's because you care, Mr Ward. Garrett crushed a lot of things out of you but he couldn't steal that. [PAUSE] Did you never wonder why Garrett trained you to shun emotional attachment?

P 0849329: To make me a better operative.

I: Is that what you believe?

P 0849329: I was the best. Ask any of them.

I: I don’t need to, I’ve been told a few hundred times. They like to tell me how deadly you are, how you could kill me without blinking.

P 0849329: Yeah.

I: Are you thinking about killing me?

P 0849329: That’s a weird question, I’m not answering that.

I: You have, haven’t you?

[PAUSE]

P 0849329: I wouldn’t be the best if I hadn’t thought about it. [PAUSE] Nothing personal, Doc. You’d make a valuable hostage. I wouldn’t kill you for no reason.

I: That has to be the biggest backhanded compliment I have ever received. For a guy with off-the-chart espionage skills, you are lacking in certain social graces, Mr Ward.

P 0849329: You asked.

I: And now I can regret it for years to come. [PAUSE] Have you ever killed without a purpose?

P 0849329: No.

I: What about Fitz and Simmons?

[PAUSE]

P 0849329: I didn’t kill them.

I: Not for lack of trying, Mr Ward.

P 0849329: I was under orders to cross them off.

I: What a delightful term. And receiving an order to murder your former colleagues was purpose enough?

P 0849329: Orders gave me purpose, Doctor Sen. I didn’t disobey just because of some emotional weakness.

I: Attachment is a weakness?

P 0849329: Yes.

I: There are some people speculating that you may have believed the pod would float. [PAUSE] Yes? No?

P 0849329: I’ve got nothing to say to that.

I: Huh. And if it had been someone else in that pod? Coulson, May, Skye? What would you have done?

[LONG PAUSE]

P 0849329: I don't know.

I: You've got a hefty list of unknowns, Mr Ward. [PAUSE] Garrett trained you to distrust your own feelings so you would always be full of self-doubt, always loyal to him and to the mission, with the sole purpose of obeying orders, however heinous. Feel free to add anything I've missed.

[LONG PAUSE]

P 0849329: He told me no one would ever screw with me again. He was right.

I: Uh huh. Except him. He made you believe your choices in life were to be the hunter or the hunted. He screwed with you more than anyone else probably did.

P 0849329: That's not true. My parents, my brother...

I: Ok, let's talk about them.

P 0849329: It's in my file. There's nothing to talk about.

I: Huh. "It's in my file, I was on a mission, I was following orders." Are those standard issue responses? Did you get it with your Hydra uniform?

P 0849329: Yeah. Did you get your pithy one-liners from Second-Rate Shrinks R Us?

I: Yeah, I got the Avoidance response package deal. [PAUSE] Get hit, hit back harder. You did that in our second session too. Is that what they taught you at the Academy? Or did you learn it from Garrett? Or was it Maynard?

P 0849329: Shut up.

I: If it's all in your file, Mr Ward, what are you so afraid of?

[PAUSE]

P 0849329: It's been fifteen minutes, shouldn't you be going?

I: Not today, Mr Ward. Today, I stay here until I'm done.

P 0849329: Well, I'm done.

I: You’re going to freeze me out, Mr Ward? [PAUSE] I can only help you if you’re willing to help yourself.

P 0849329: You’re not here to help me, you’re here to help SHIELD.

[PAUSE]

I: I’m not your only friend in the world, Mr Ward, but it’s not like your supporters could fill a stadium. Or a bus. Or a car, really.

P 0849329: You’re new at the whole comfort thing, aren’t you?

I: I told you, not generally allowed to speak to people. [PAUSE] Today will be our last session, at least for a little while. I have some appointments I can’t miss, and then SHIELD will be reviewing my security clearance. The AIC doesn't really like me, so... If they don’t let me back, I would really encourage you to speak with one of the SHIELD clinicians. They’re specialists in this area, they can help you.

P 0849329: Help me do what, Doc? I’m never getting out of here.

I: Probably not. But you still have to live with yourself, and you’ll never be able to do that until you quit hiding behind the mission and orders and own up to what you did. You’re not a psycho, Grant Ward, you care about people, and you feel things intensely, even when you don’t want to, and until you take ownership of your actions, you can never seek forgiveness, not from your team, not from yourself.

P 0849329: I never said I wanted forgiveness.

I: We all want forgiveness. Even those of us who are too afraid to ask for it. [PAUSE] Goodbye, Mr Ward.

TRANSCRIPT END

Director Coulson scanned the final transcript again before sliding it across the desk. 

"This is marked for my eyes only," he said. "So I assume you've read it."

"Of course," May replied, sliding the pages back to Coulson.

"Anything to add?"

May reflected briefly. "Shaw doesn't like her. He wants her clearance revoked."

"Shaw doesn't like anyone," Coulson replied.

"Smart man."

"Maybe," Coulson said. "Maybe not." He thumbed through a few pages of the ninety-two transcripts that comprised the interrogation sessions of Prisoner 0849329 before leaning back in his chair. "Bring her in."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...yeah, that's gonna happen.
> 
> Long time between chapters! Thank you to everyone who has read and left kind words or kudos, it's very encouraging. Please do drop a line below if there's something you'd like to see in the next chapter (or if you just want to say hi. :-))


	7. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone knows Grant Ward is a psycho.
> 
> Right?

The whispers started one minute and thirty-nine seconds after she sat down.

“What do you think?”

“She must be here to see Coulson. And those are very nice boots. I wonder where she got them.”

“Jemma, focus!”

“Female, late thirties, Indian appearance, lovely fashion sense…”

“I should have looked for Tripp.”

“I don't know what you're hoping to achieve here.”

“Have you seen her before?”

“No, but I don't know everyone in SHIELD. It doesn't mean anything. Or if she's not in SHIELD, she could be a new recruit, or a consultant, or–”

“She's the shrink.”

“You don't know that.”

“Look at her, she writes like a shrink.”

“What does that even mean?”

“I don't know.”

“Skye, you're obsessing. She could be anyone.”

“Maybe. Coulson would have told us if we were going to the Cabin, right?”

“Of course he would have. Most likely.”

“And she doesn't _look_ like an expert on psychopaths.”  
  
"What’s an expert on psychopaths supposed to look like?" Seraphina asked without looking up. An unnatural silence followed. "And the boots came from Kaufhaus Steffl." She finished scribbling and capped her pen, tucking it into the spiral spine of her notebook. "It may surprise you that if you're not actually in _A Christmas Carol_ , you can’t discuss a person who is less than ten feet away and expect them not to hear you."  
  
"Doctor Sen?" Shaw's offsider – what was his name again? Drummond? – reappeared, descending the spiral staircase he had ascended earlier.  
  
"Ah,” Seraphina said, standing, “you must be the ghost of Christmas Yet-to-Come."  
  
The agent frowned as she grabbed her bag and tucked the notebook inside. "What?"  
  
"In-joke.”  
  
The agent shot a look that suggested that he didn't understand what she was talking about but he was going to disapprove of it, just in case. Seraphina was familiar with that expression.  
  
"The Director is ready to see you," he said gruffly, pointing a guiding arm in the unlikely event that she might get lost.

Repressing the urge to say goodbye to the disembodied voices, the doctor climbed the stairs and, after whats-his-name stepped uncomfortably close behind her, walked to the doorway at the top.

“Doctor Sen, please come in.” The man had been leaning against the desk but straightened and paced towards her. “I’m Phil Coulson, Director of SHIELD. This is Agent May,” he added, indicating the woman still standing by the desk who wore a flight suit and a frown.

Seraphina straightened – the director had a good couple of inches on her, even with the heels on her much-admired boots – and shook his proffered hand. “Director. Agent May. It’s nice to put faces to names,” she replied. She gestured to her jeans-and-blouse ensemble. “Please excuse the casual outfit.”

“Not at all,” Coulson said. “I’m sorry you had no prior notice of our meeting.”

 “No, you’re not,” Seraphina replied pleasantly.

 Coulson cocked his head slightly to the right, questioning. “Aren’t I?”

 “You wanted to catch me off-guard, hoping it would give you a better chance of analysing my personality and my methods,” she said with a shrug. “But I appreciate the courtesy of the lie.”

 Coulson and May exchanged a look that Seraphina pretended not to notice; she could do this courtesy thing too.

 “Fair enough,” Coulson said.

 “You don’t really have a barrier between your mind and your mouth, do you?” May added.

 The doctor smiled. “You might be surprised, Agent May.”

 May did not return the smile, making a tiny noise that was more than enough to indicate her disagreement.

 “Please,” Coulson said, indicating the couch and sitting in the black armchair. Seraphina seated herself; May didn’t move.

 Coulson picked up a file from the low table, flicking through a few pages. “You have a very impressive CV, Doctor Sen. Harvard, Johns Hopkins, five degrees, four languages, tenure at a number of impressive institutions, including your present employer.”

 “Yes, I know, Director,” Seraphina said, “I was there. Are you trying to intimidate me?”

Coulson closed the file over with a short laugh. “Little bit. Is it working?”

Seraphina gave half a nod. “Little bit,” she said. “But not surprised. SHIELD’s reach has always been impressive, even if your reputation has been somewhat…compromised.” She felt that was a fair word. The look on Agent May’s face indicated she felt otherwise. “Seriously, does she ever smile?”

“No,” May put in.

Coulson cleared his throat. “May, you want to get us in the air?”

Seraphina started and came to her feet. “Uh, Director, not that it isn't lovely to meet you,” she said, watching May stalk towards the doorway, “but I have an appointment that I really have to keep.”

“We know,” Coulson said. “We're giving you a ride.”

Seraphina could have sworn she saw Agent May smirk as she left the office, closing the door behind her. “To Cape Town?”

“Don’t worry, Drayson brought your bags,” Coulson said. “Please sit down.”

“How generous of you,” Seraphina replied, “and totally unlike kidnapping. At all.”

“We don't plan to keep you, doctor.” Coulson replied, tossing the file onto the table and picking up another, marked _FOR THE EYES OF DIRECTOR COULSON ONLY_.

Seraphina stared at him, forcing herself to be calm, remembering that they were doing this on purpose. But honestly. It was bad enough that Drayson had appeared at her apartment at an hour ungodly enough that her prudish neighbours would be giving her dirty looks for weeks, did they really have to abduct her, even temporarily? This cloak-and-dagger stuff was terribly inconvenient.

She sat again, mentally ticking about half the curse words she knew, before speaking. “Not much I could do if you did, is there?” she replied, her voice even. “There must be an easier way for you to review my clearance.”

“Hm. None come to mind,” Coulson said. “Shaw said so many things about you, I wanted to meet you in person.”

“You don’t need to lie, director.”

“I’m not,’ he said. “I didn’t say they were good things.”

Seraphina just held back a smile; it wouldn’t do to like the man. “Of course. And I'm sure I'll have a wonderful time explaining my entry to the country to the South African government.” She felt the plane hum to life. “Should we strap in or something?”

Coulson seemed unperturbed as he flicked through the pages, looking for something. “No, it’ll be fine,’ he said. Seraphina wasn’t sure which he was referring to. “We still have some contacts there.”

  
“Contacts that are still speaking to you?”

“I guess we’ll find out,” he said. “Ah, here it is. Forty-two.” He looked at her expectantly.

She regarded him mildly. “You’re a Douglas Adams fan?”

He smiled, maybe a little surprised he hadn’t thrown her off balance. “No, forty-two psychologists, psychiatrists, interrogation experts and their support staff. Not one of them was able to get Grant Ward to say anything but gibberish.”

He paused again, so she said “That’s a lot of people.”

“Yeah,” Coulson said, closing the folder again. “So, I guess to start with, I have to ask what the hell do you think you’re doing?”

 _Here we go_ , Seraphina thought, feeling something heavy drop in her stomach…for heaven’s sake, they were taking off already? She willed herself to ignore it. “You’re going to have to be more specific.”

“Giving him books? That’s not protocol. Not to mention the shoulder to cry on,” Coulson said, leaning forward.

Seraphina straightened, refusing to be cowed by the man, the situation or the enormous plane that was now hurtling upward. “I’m treating him like a person,” she said. “I may be a little rusty as a clinician but I believe that _is_ protocol.”

“He’s a bad person,” Coulson replied.

She wondered if he believed that or if he was trying to provoke a reaction from her. “Ok.”

“You’ve read his file.”

She decided she didn’t care. “I have. So gruel for supper and no stories before bedtime?” she asked. “He’s a man who did bad things. I would have thought as the director of a secret international spy agency, you’d be able to appreciate the difference.”

“I’m new to the job.”

“Ok.”

“That _is_ annoying,” Coulson said without malice, and started to say something else before there was a brief rap on the door before Drayson burst in.

“Excuse me, sir, but there’s been an incident.” He frowned at Seraphina, as though she was responsible for whatever it was. “Agents on the ground are waiting to brief you.”

 Coulson came to his feet, buttoning the jacket on his suit. “Excuse me, doctor, we’ll have to continue this discussion later,” he said. “Agent Triplett will take you downstairs.”

 Seraphina rose too, belatedly noticed the young man behind Drayson. Triplett; another face to match to a name in a file. He displayed a beautiful set of perfectly even teeth. “This way, doc.”

 She didn’t argue – either there was a real situation and she’d only be in the way or this was some bizarre test, in which case she might as well get it over with – and followed Triplett through the doorway and down the stairs, being ignored by Agent May as she passed them on her way up.

She cast an eye out the window at the grey clouds on the horizon. “Stormy skies ahead. What’s the flight time?”

Triplett shrugged. “Fourteen hours, give or take,” he said. “Any other questions, doc?”

“Just one,” she replied, looking up the empty staircase. “The pilot’s up there. Who’s flying the plane?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was supposed to be very short but simply refused to work that way. Hopefully it works this way.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has left nice comments and kudos, it makes me smile.
> 
> Sequel is in the works, prologue should be up in a few days :-)

**Author's Note:**

> I've got no psychological training and I'm not pretending to be an expert but I wanted a better explanation of Ward than the usual 'he's a psycho, born evil, nothing to be done.' And yes, small amount of Skye/Ward shipping.


End file.
